We were 20 when we saw it, just a piece of property being prepped to build a house, the builder owned it and had the plans all set for this place. We were engaged to be married and we were looking for a place to live and start a family, here in this little town we knew nothing about, but fell in love with its charm and beauty, this is a good place to live. So we patiently waited, (some times not so patient) we got married and waited for our new home to be done, we were so excited to take on this new adventure.
This home has seen the birth of 5 amazing gifts from God, our precious children, It has seen us through some hard times, some of those very difficult and extremely painful, and it has seen us through great amazing happy times. This is the place where we have grown, God has been in this place, here with us, and I would not trade it for anything, what an incredible 20 years it has been.
Over the last few years life financially had become more difficult than it usually was, with the crash of the economy the shipwright's business slowed down to barely any work at all, we had just recently been led into an investment with others in our community that ended up being a bad thing and this only added to the crippling of our financial being. God has a plan He always has a plan and sometimes it seems like a really bad plan to us, but we have to trust and follow Him and His plan, these are plans to grow us and to build our relationship with Him, He has plans to prosper us and not to harm us, hope for a future.
So as we have spent the last 2 years trying to work with the mortgage company, ( which has been a nightmare and requires a whole separate blog post ) We have spent a lot of time on so many emotions and mental state's of being, and yes I am ashamed to say there were not always times of "well done my good and faithful servant" there were times of intense stress, worry and fear and it has created a very challenging life, that at times has taken its toll on the marriage. But God is good and He has carried us and I am now in a place where I am learning eucharisteo and finding those everyday gifts, turning completely to Him, and remembering He has a plan and no matter what, we will be just fine, Where we live does not decide who we are, we are His and we are loved, there is a plan for our life and we need to fully trust in that and rest in Him.
Yesterday we finally received what looks like might be a final decision on our life in this home, they want many thousands and now say they do not have anything they can set up for us to stay here, we knew this day may be coming so it is not a shock and we have been mentally prepared, but if we have to go there will be a mourning and a sadness mixed in with trusting God and leaning on Him and his plan for us, It is just that fear of the unknown, and the letting go of what we have known as our life in this place.
So as I rise this morning I feel that heaviness, as I look out into the back yard as I do every morning working on that daily ritual of coffee making, I feel the sadness that this may soon no longer be our back yard, that place where 5 children have roamed, played hard in and grown up in. I know as I take on these days to come i will see everything in this new light, the new light I have been trying to avoid going into. Nothing is set in stone yet, there is no Final decision yet and we will see what is in store for us, so today we take on a new path, meeting with a professional who will give us (hopefully) some guidance on what path we should take, a possible path we have been trying to avoid, but again God is good and we will see what His plan for us is and just live in complete trust and faith.
today and each day ahead I will look for all the little gifts that the Lord lays out for us each day, and that is how I will get by, to live in eucharisteo so that I can have peace and joy in the Lord no matter what the circumstance. Life is not an emergency, I will not make it an emergency any more, though it looks like it, THIS is not an emergency, it is just another part of life, the dying of one part that will lead into the birth of something new, something fresh and exciting, it is exciting to trust God and to follow Him into something that we have no sight of, something unplanned by us, but completely planned out by Him, though it may not lead for now to a place we even want to go. He knows what is best and we are here to serve Him, to trust and to follow, we will get to live in complete bliss when our time on this dying earth is over, then we will have our permanent home in a mansion.
This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it.
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